“The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
This episode is dedicated to Jordan and Beth, whom I love.
The Christmas tree in Charlie Brown had nothing going for it except one thing. It was a sincere little tree.
You know how you can smell it when someone it not being their truest self? Well, they can smell it on you.
I know. I can stink sometimes. It’s so easy to get up on our high horse about how great we are or how much we know about something or what we have or . . .
I have two great and dear friends who spent their lives in Africa serving in the Peace Corp and then with the United Nations. You’d never know that they have a collection of African art worth $$$$$$. You’d never know how much more they know than you do, how much more they have done than you have. They are sincerely still learning and listening and caring. They are amazing.
I find that I feel truly BLISS FULL when I am with them. I like me more when I am with them. I like me more than the me I created to be out in the world, because they draw out my truest self. They are sincere with me and I am, in turn, sincere when I am with them. My ‘sincere me’ is kinder than I am. She is a better listener. She is content with things the way they are. She likes people more. She is softer.
I have to stop and be still to let her out. The talk and busyness have a tendency to push ‘sincerely me’ away and bring up the part of me that likes to show off. I hate to have to even type that. It’s so embarrassing. But it’s true.
The weight of building a persona to navigate the world is too great. If we navigate the world with our true selves as captain, we feel lighter. We act lighter. We are joyous. My 2 friends can brag to high heaven and it doesn’t sound like bragging. It sounds like the excitement of a 5 year old with a cool new thing. They are sharing their joy, not their accomplishments. They are trilling, not trumpeting.
So, I’m trying that right now. I’m trying to be me. When I find myself putting on airs, I stop and look at myself with a kind and critical eye. ‘Why, Dodi,” I hear my grandmother say “just be Dodi. Just be that sweet little girl in the picture. You don’t have to make people respect or like you. Just say the most true thing and it will all come out just fine.”
Homework: Search for your sincere self.
When there are no expectations of you, when no one is looking, when no one is criticizing, when no one wants something, what kind of person are you? Take the time to describe your self as if you were describing a new acquaintance to a friend.
Now go back and do the same thing, but this time describe your self as if you were the one person in the world who loves you most, describing you to a friend.
Be kind to you.
Be truly you.
Keep trying every time you remember it and see if you can create a wave of realness that orbits around you and affects your whole world.